I enjoy coding stuff. I know that when I get into "the zone" it's a very pleasent and relaxing experience. It should be easy to just code something for the sake of the experience but I can't do that. I just don't find the motivation to do coding for the sake of it.
So I'm always looking for the thing that set's my next coding-project apart from all the other zillions of projects/games that's been done before. But the resources I have to spend are limited. So how realistic is it to do something groundbreaking all the time? Not very, but I still need the illusion of 'meaning' to find motivation, what can I do?
I prefer to work on games because the world is full of potential players. Players can be really passionate about the games they play. The feedback you get, or just the statistics, give you the feeling that you did something significant. Statistics tell me that the last game I completed as a hobby project in a couple hundred hours spare-time was played about a hundred thousand hours by players all over the world. So other's wasted a lot more time on my product then I did creating it. I'm not even sure that's a good thing (karma wise) but it feels like my deeds are having an impact. I'm also working on games as a day-job. Some browsergame we did has 3 million players and I can't even start guessing how many million hours (man-lives?) I have helped wasting with the 'entertainment' we produce. But when I was younger it was easier to feel proud about that. Now I'd rather cure cancer or build a house or something...
So, why do I always gravitate towards the next hobby gamedev project like a moth to the light? I guess because I (sometimes) enjoy it and I'm rather good at it (coding) and I still haven't lost hope to do something really great (by whatever definition) some day if I don't stop trying. But as soon as the project turns into a disappointment in comparision with my initial ideas it get's hard to I stick to it and see it through. I don't see the point anymore and I just stop. That's why most projects end as just another folder on my harddrive that's never going to be opened again. Ever.
