Ergh. Medical problems.

[Bear]

Without going into too much grody detail, I have a medical problem that gets worse when I don't take care of it.  And, with the holiday season on us and my day job getting crazy, I've been not taking care of it.

One of the main symptoms is insomnia .  If some of you look at the times of my posts, you may have been wondering when the hell I sleep.  Well, the sad truth is that when it's bad, there are days, and sometimes entire weeks, when I don't.  Srsly.

The consequence of not sleeping, is that my available energy and ability to concentrate (and my ability/motivation to take care of my medical problem properly) are severely diminished.  And that means, among other things, that I can't code very well.

I've been opening the files to work on, looking at the code, messing with it, looking at my dev plan, messing with it, and not getting anything done. Then I get frustrated and go read webcomics instead.

I had intended to get Neohack into a complete-and-playable state by the end of the year.  But realistically, on December 23rd, that's not going to happen.

Now I'm just hoping to be able to sleep again by the end of the year, and I'm going to devote all the energy and concentration I can muster, to getting back into good enough shape to sleep.

Bear

It's 1:30 AM here.  I have a headache most of you wouldn't believe.  And I haven't slept in four days.

On the bright side?  There's a cat purring in my lap.

[Skeletor]

Sorry to hear that.

If you don't mind I can give you advices that worked very well for me.

- melatonin, lowest dosation possible

- vitamin d, but not via oral supplements (just a good dose of daily uvb sunrays)

- trying as hard as you can to always go to sleep at 23-24 and wake up at 7-8

- stay away from coffee, cigarettes, alcohol

- intense physical activity at least twice a week

[Fenrir]

Have you had time to see a doctor?

E: I mean, about the insomnia part...

[Bear]

Oh, yes, I've seen doctors.  They can give me drugs to make me unconscious, and that helps a little with healing and clearing some types of fatigue residues, but unconscious isn't the same as actual sleep, and for focus and concentration (and, well, to prevent hallucinations) what I need is real sleep. If I were more neuro-typical my brain could transition from unconsciousness to sleep, as normal people's do; but that usually doesn't happen for me.

The "Intense physical activity" advice above is very much on point; regular workouts are exactly what I've been *not* doing in the last week that has gotten me into trouble. And today I did a good workout (Calisthenics and free weights).

So now, my muscles feel like rubber bands on fire.  That's what happens when you do a workout on several days of no sleep.  And tomorrow it'll be worse.  And tomorrow after another workout it'll be worse than that.  But hopefully if I keep at it, sometime in the next few days it'll trip over the balance and let me sleep. 

God, I swear I will never go a day without my workout again!

I got overstimulated today.  Dealt with too many people, too much novelty, too much talking. Way too easy to do, as fatigued as I've been getting.  Had to sit down in a quiet space for a few hours waiting for hallucinations to stop.  How the hell am I going to handle being social for Christmas Dinner?

Bear

[guest509]

  Blow off Christmas. I do. I'm sick almost every year for Christmas. I too have sleeping problems due to blocked air ways. They get blocked due to near constant respiratory infections. I go to sleep fine but then choke in my sleep so bad I never get rested. It's terrible. Weakens my body so I can't get better. And the drugs they give me are so harsh I actually get sicker before I get better.

When I need to function for a few hours I down an energy drink. Fruit punch Rockstar is my favorite. That gets me through for a few hours. Then I'm crashed out again.

I actually applied for disability this month after losing my legal practice over being too ill. I'm not functional consistently enough to work for anyone else. Seems employers do not like it when you don't show up for work, or worse you show up and stair at the wall in a daze. So I had no choice but to go on disability. Sucks because running my own practice I could pretty easily take down $100k a year or so. Now I'm begging the government for $675 a month and living in my dad's basement.

Hang in there Bear. Don't feel like you are alone in your fight. There are lots of sick people. You have a plan and just need to execute it. Don't self destruct brother.

[Bear]

Good news!

I went to sleep, and dreamed, for nearly two hours today.  It's my first sleep in 5 days, and I feel *SO MUCH* better!

I don't quite have "energy and focus" yet, but at least I'm clearheaded.  My muscles have gone from "rubber bands on fire" to "day-after-first-workout soreness," and the headache is largely gone. 

Anyway.  If I can fall asleep today, I can probably fall asleep again tomorrow.  And maybe for more than a couple of hours next time. 

Bear

[Krice]

God, I swear I will never go a day without my workout again!

Maybe you are trying too hard. I think it's not too wise to do workout every day, because muscles need to recover, otherwise you'll develop overtraining symptoms which can be difficult to spot. Post workout soreness, whatever is the reason for that, is in my opinion a sign that workout was too hard for your current condition.

I think insomnia in many cases is strongly linked to western way of making everything a task that needs to be done. Work, spare time, sleep, everything. People try to force their body to do all these tasks, but it wont always work that way.

[mariodonick]

God, I swear I will never go a day without my workout again!

I think insomnia in many cases is strongly linked to western way of making everything a task that needs to be done. Work, spare time, sleep, everything. People try to force their body to do all these tasks, but it wont always work that way.

I agree. And all your symptoms sound that you need a break from everything. Two, three weeks at least -- without work, without roguelike development, without any of the things you are usually doing, and without computer and Internet.

Of course this is easier said than done. But better trying this now than getting something which is called burnout by some.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burnout_(psychology)

[guest509]

Good news!

I went to sleep, and dreamed, for nearly two hours today.  It's my first sleep in 5 days, and I feel *SO MUCH* better!

I don't quite have "energy and focus" yet, but at least I'm clearheaded.  My muscles have gone from "rubber bands on fire" to "day-after-first-workout soreness," and the headache is largely gone. 

Anyway.  If I can fall asleep today, I can probably fall asleep again tomorrow.  And maybe for more than a couple of hours next time. 

Bear

  That's good news buddy. Keep at it.

[Bear]

  That's good news buddy. Keep at it.

Much appreciated.  I managed to sleep, and dream, again last night.  So, today, I have something like normal consciousness.  Heck, I may even get something done.

[guest509]

  Man I wish I did. I've been down for the entire month of December. Just can't get the rest I need because of my breathing. I am not having hallucinations but I develop false memories and/or memory gaps. The only thing I haven't tried is to lose a shit tonne of weight. I'm 6' tall and 265 right now. Pretty fat. I'm thinking if I lose 50 pounds it won't matter how blocked my airways get it will be easy to breathe.
  It's worth a shot.

[Bear]

Sorry to hear about your sleeplessness in December.  Best wishes for you to get over it. 

I'm with you on the memory thing.  It seems like you can only "collate and index" about two or so day's worth of memories per sleep cycle.  So beyond a certain point, you're wasting your time spent awake.  It goes by, but you can't enjoy spending it with your loved ones or use it to get anything done, due to fatigue.  It goes by, and the memories of it don't get added to your life.  If you're awake for three or more days, then sleep, you'll only have "lived" (remember) about two to two-and-a-half days of it.  Memory gaps are the all-too-few moments of our mortal lives being stolen from us, just as fatigue steals the ability to use or enjoy the time.

In my case it's mainly a neural problem. My brain doesn't get a "fall asleep now" signal just from being fatigued.  "Fall asleep now" comes to me only due to time cues from a wake/sleep cycle.  I cannot sleep, no matter how mentally or physically fatigued I get, unless I deliberately raise my metabolism (via exercise) sometime during the day, and have done so often enough recently to establish a diurnal (or nocturnal) rhythm.  It doesn't have to be *much* exercise; just walking a brisk mile or two will do it.  But no matter what, I must not forget to do it, nor blow it off because I'm too busy.  If I blow it off for a couple of days, I lose the rhythm of a wake/sleep cycle and then cannot fall asleep at all.  Besides which, if I exercise on no recent sleep, it'll hurt.  A lot.

Bear

[guest509]

  I shall try this too Bear. Exercise will help my breathing.